“To choose a woman for a wife is not to say to Miss So-and-so:  You are the ideal of my dreams…To choose a woman for a wife is to say to Miss So-and-so:  I want to live with you just as you are…It is you I choose to share my life with me, and that is the only evidence there can be that I love you.”

                                                                                                -Denis de Rougemont

Rings

                For centuries, wedding rings have been worn on the second finger of the left hand.  They are a wonderful way to acknowledge your union and to signal to the rest of the world that you have found your match.  The history of the ring begins with ancient people who believed that a vein ran directly from that finger to the heart.  Early rings were made of things like braided grass.  As time went on however, people wanted something more enduring, so materials such as leather, stone, and iron were used.  The tradition of gold and diamonds came into the picture through the wealthy in the middle ages, as both were a form of currency and demonstrated a persons position as well as their marital status.

Wedding Gowns

                Up until the mid-nineteenth century, brides simply put on their best dress or the traditional wedding costume of their country.  It is thought that the white wedding dress came into fashion as a way to show off status because white was not considered an everyday color and could not be worn over and over.  Although many cultures still use traditional costumes in their wedding ceremonies, the white wedding gown trend has continued and has even been incorporated into long standing traditions.  Brides in some ceremonies will now go through several wardrobe changes including one for the white wedding gown.

Good Luck Charms

                Something Old:  Worn as a symbol of continuity with the past.

                Something New:  Worn as an optimistic charm for a sunny future in the marriage.

                Something Borrowed:  Borrowed from a happily married woman and worn in the hope that wedded bliss will rub off.

                Something Blue:  Worn as a symbol of love and fidelity.

               And a Lucky Sixpence in Your Shoe:  Worn because a little extra luck can’t hurt.

Bridal Showers

                There is an old legend that gives us a little insight into the origin of the bridal shower.  In Holland, a young maiden had given her love to a miller’s son.  The two could not be wed however as the two were from very different social classes and the maiden’s father could not afford the dowry.  Touched by the love of the young couple and unwilling to let a little thing like a dowry stand in their way, the village “showered” gifts on the couple.  The dowry was met, and the rest was history.

Attendants Gifts

                Often given at the rehearsal dinner, attendant gifts are a small public way to say thank you to your wedding party for all of the time and money they have invested in your wedding day.  It is common to give all of the bridesmaids or groomsmen the same gift.  For the women, jewelry for the wedding day or keepsakes like jewelry boxes are a nice gesture.  For the men, shaving kits, specialty glasses, or something related to there favorite activities are a plus.  For something a little extra special, personalize the gift with custom engraving.  You can add anything from their initials to a short thank you message to many appropriate items.

Ceremonies

                The lighting of the unity candle is a simple and touching way to acknowledge the joining of not just you and your betrothed, but your families as well.  This ceremony can be done as part of a church service (ask your officiant if it is permitted) or as part of the reception.  In both cases, the parents or mother of the bride light the right candle and the parents or mother of the groom light the left candle.  You and your betrothed then light the center candle together.  Remember, you will be facing your guests with the candles in front of you during the lighting ceremony, so make sure you have enough room to get around the table.

Superstitions

                Dressing bridesmaids and groomsmen alike is a time honored tradition dating as far back as primitive times.  Back then, the bride and groom would be surrounded by people of the same age all dressed like the bride and groom in order to trick evil spirits that might want to interfere with the happy couple.  Another time honored tradition also has its origins in superstition.  Thresholds were considered the perfect place for magic including things like evil hexes.  In order to avoid these curses, new husbands would carry their new wives across.

Bouquets and Garters

                Did you ever wonder where the tradition of throwing the bouquet and garter came from?  Though it is impossible to be sure, it likely came from an old tradition known as “flinging the stocking”.  On the wedding night, guests would crowd around the bed where the bride and groom were and steal a stocking from the groom and one from the bride.  The women would then stand at the foot of the bed with their back to the couple and toss the stocking at the groom.  If they actually hit him, they would be wed within a year.  The bride suffered the same fate, only the men had to hit her with her stocking.

Honeymoons

                Originally, new couples would run off for thirty days supplied with a fermented honey drink called hydromel.  They would return when the moon was waning thus it was called the honeymoon.  Legend has it that Atilla the Hun had a less than joyous experience with Hydromel.  Celebrating a little too hard on his wedding night, he drank himself to death.

Sources:

“Something Old, Something New” by Vera Lee

“Wedding Ceremonies: Planning Your Special Day” by Jo Packham

“The Everything Wedding Etiquette Book” by Emily Ehrenstein and Laura Morin